“I sat in the back of the church shaking. How could I make it through this Mass without screaming, crying, and running out?
Why does this keep happening? I feel so much shame, so much anger.
I feel so alone.” (Deborah, clergy sex abuse survivor)
I am a survivor of child sexual abuse and clergy sex abuse.  I endured many years of feeling alone and ashamed. It was through a gifted therapist and through courageous and heroic acts by my husband and friends that I started on my healing journey.  I found my way back to life, back to my family and even back to the Mass. I hated feeling alone. No survivor of abuse should ever feel alone. And no survivor should feel “crazy”, “sick”, “evil”, “wrong”, “sinful”—words which have been used to describe survivors like myself.
I have learned a lot about trauma and abuse in my career and in my own healing journey. I have learned about the science of trauma—trauma’s effects on our minds, bodies, and spirits.  I’ve seen a lot of survivors get revictimized when they share their stories to clergy, family or friends. I’ve learned the most from other survivors themselves.
In this booklet are summaries of widely accepted and evidence-based methods for addressing trauma in communities and in individuals. Included is basic information of the science of trauma, toxic stress, secondary traumatic stress, and resources for survivors of trauma. I include the most precious and sacred of gifts—voices of survivors.  It is for the survivors I have met and for my husband and children that I dedicate this booklet.
It is my prayer that this booklet can help start conversations between clergy and laity, between lay leaders and families, and between survivors and the Church. It is my hope that trauma survivors will not feel alone and that we, the Church, can accompany them as they journey on the road to healing.
 

The Science of Trauma

• What is trauma? What are the effects of trauma?
• ACEs and toxic stress
• The stress response
• Secondary trauma/compassion fatigue

 

What is trauma?

Individual trauma results from an event, series of events, or set of circumstances that is experienced by an individual as physically or emotionally harmful or life threatening and that has lasting adverse effects on the individual’s functioning and mental, physical, social, emotional, or spiritual well-being. This is the accepted definition by the Substance and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMSHA).
Trauma can be thought of any event that a person perceives as harmful and overwhelms their capacity to cope.  This is especially damaging if it occurs in childhood when a child’s own protective systems, whether biologic or emotional, are not fully developed.
Trauma is a widespread, harmful, and costly public health problem. It occurs as a result of violence, traumatic experiences, abuse, neglect, loss, disaster, war and other emotionally harmful experiences. Trauma has no boundaries with regard to age, gender, status, race, ethnicity, geography or sexual orientation. (SAMHSA)
Trauma is a wounding of the body, mind, emotions, spirit, memories, and relationship of the victim. Some will divide trauma into categories depending on whether the trauma is to an individual or a group of persons.

• Historical trauma:  Cumulative emotional and psychological wounding, over the lifespan and across generations, emanating from massive group trauma experiences (racial trauma, Holocaust, Slavery)
• Interpersonal trauma: trauma within relationships especially family, parent/caregiver or partner/spouse (child abuse, witnessing intimate partner violence)
• External trauma: trauma from nature, governments, communities (natural disasters, war, poverty, community violence)

On a typical Sunday, in Mass or any church service:

• 1 of every 2 persons attending church services has personally experienced or is in relationship with someone who has experienced some form of trauma before the age 18.
• Add the effects of a global trauma such as COVID pandemic and
• Most of us have acknowledged the trauma and its effects and have supportive persons to help us manage and integrate the effects.
• But many are managing alone or in silence or are unaware

What about abuse?

Abuse, commonly understood, is the harmful action perpetrated upon another. This can be physical, sexual, emotional, psychological, or spiritual.
Abuse is a traumatic event. But not all traumatic events come from abuse.  Put another way,
Abuse is a form of trauma. But not all trauma is abuse.
In faith settings, the two terms—abuse and trauma--are often interchanged. For this informational booklet I will mainly use the word trauma in relation to the science, the identification, the management, and treatment. I will also refer to abuse and trauma survivors as victim-survivors or just survivors.
Individual trauma results from an event, series of events, or set of circumstances that is experienced by an individual as physically or emotionally harmful or life threatening and that has lasting adverse effects on the individual’s functioning and mental, physical, social, emotional, or spiritual well-being. By widening our view of abuse to include all forms of trauma, we would see that trauma is indeed a much more common occurrence and that the universality makes addressing this even more pressing for this is not only a clergy problem, a Catholic problem, a child problem, but a human problem.

Abuse is a perversion of the image of God
from Mending the Soul by Steven R Tracy


 

Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs)

ACEs are traumatic events that occurred before the age 18.
There is an often-used metaphor in public health that describes downstream and upstream interventions. The metaphor describes a dangerous raging river into which people have fallen and are struggling. Rescue workers rush to the shore of the river and work as hard as they can to pull out as many people as possible, but still people are going under. While we need to keep our rescue response intense, we also must think about our upstream approach, lest people just keep coming down the river needing to be rescued. In the public health metaphor, one of the rescue workers leaves the shore and starts to walk upstream. When asked why by a fellow rescue worker, he says, “I am going to find out where the bridge is broken and repair it, so people will stop falling into the river in the first place.” Addressing ACEs is one way of repairing that bridge and protecting our people. In addition, because ACEs are a shared risk factor for so many health outcomes, it is a potentially effective lever to pull to improve population health as a whole. As Frederick Douglass is quoted to have said, “It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men.”
Given that 1 in 3 women and 1 in 6 men have reported some form of sexual abuse or assault before age 18, we can estimate that on any given Sunday, every other person in the pew is either a survivor of trauma or knows a survivor well. Our Church must be better prepared to minister to the many people living with these hidden wounds. 

• 34.8 million children in the US are affected by ACEs
• 2 out of 3 adults have 1 or more ACEs
• 1 out of 8 adults have 4 or more ACEs
• ACEs are a public health crisis hidden in plain sight.
• ACEs increase risk for 7 out of 10 leading causes of death.  Without intervention, there can be a 20-year difference in life expectancy.

Subsequent research continues to support the relationship between ACEs and health outcomes.  In adults ACEs have been found to have a dose-response association with cardiovascular disease, chronic lung disease, autoimmune disease, sleep disturbances, early death, smoking, obesity, depression, anxiety, PTSD, and substance abuse. In children and adolescents, ACEs have been associated with obesity, learning difficulties, early initiation of sexual activity, smoking, suicide, teen pregnancy and paternity, depression, and risk of sexual violence. (CDC, CYW).
 

The Impact of ACEs and Toxic Stress on Health

ACEs are associated with increased risk of a wide range of health conditions in both pediatric and adult populations. These ACE-Associated Health Conditions include:

• Pediatric Health: The effects of toxic stress are detectable as early as infancy. In babies, high doses of adversity are associated with failure to thrive, growth delay, sleep disruption and developmental delay. School-aged children may have increased risk of viral infections, pneumonia, asthma and other atopic diseases, as well as difficulties with learning and behavior. Among adolescents with high ACEs, somatic complaints including headache and abdominal pain, increased engagement in high-risk behaviors, teen pregnancy, teen paternity, sexually transmitted infections, mental health disorders, and substance use are common.
• Adult Health: Research shows that individuals who have experienced ACEs are at significantly increased risk of serious health consequences, including 9 of the 10 leading causes of death. People with 4 or more ACEs are:
  • 3 x as likely to have chronic lower respiratory disease
  • 2 to 2 ½ x as likely to have a stroke,  cancer, or heart disease
  • 1 ½ x as likely to have diabetes
  • 38 x as likely to attempt suicide   
  • 4 x as likely to have Alzheimer’s disease and other dementias
• Mental and Behavioral Health: The higher the ACE score, the more likely the individual is to experience mental health conditions including depression, post-traumatic stress disorder, anxiety, and eating disorders, and to engage in risky behaviors such as early and high-risk sexual behaviors and substance use.
• Life Expectancy: Individuals with 6 or more ACEs have a life expectancy that is 19 years shorter than individuals with none.

While clergy sexual abuse is the ACE most haunting the church right now, it is important that Catholics take in and feel that more than every other person in their pew has a history of ACEs and every eighth person has had four or more of these devastating childhood experiences, many of which are not single episodes, but ongoing incidences of abuse, neglect, watching mom get beaten, or coming home to a drunk parent.
If churches are to be field hospitals, as Pope Francis so eloquently suggests, we should all understand who the patients really are and what they suffer, even when they don't look obviously injured. The abused and neglected are not "them"; they are us.
 

Positive Childhood Experiences

Just as the higher the number of ACEs can cause both childhood and adult disease, Positive Childhood Experiences (PACEs) are just as protective. The current research and conversation includes screening for ACEs but identifying and strengthening PACEs in families and communities.

These are the original 10 Adverse Childhood Experiences or ACEs first described by researchers from Kaiser Permanente, CA and the CDC in 1997.  To these original 10, which I refer to as “in the home ACEs”, there are also ACEs “outside the home” such as poverty, war, discrimination, racism, community violence. Please refer to the separate CDC summary on the impact of ACEs.
Because ACEs are so common, we must look to what supports a child has and had during while they experienced ACEs.  As a faith community, we can be a support to the child and family to buffer against the short- and long-term effects of ACEs.
The physiologic effects of ACEs can be passed from generation to generation and cause continued trauma. These effects can also be identified and changed, to bring healing across generations.

The Stress Response

• Positive stress: brief, infrequent mild to moderate intensity, presence of social-emotional buffering, allows return to baseline
• Tolerable stress: infrequent moderate intensity, in presence of social-emotional buffering, allows return to baseline
• Toxic stress: more frequent, unpredictable, excessive, or prolonged activation of stress response systems in the absence of buffering protection from (adult) caregivers

Shonkoff et al, Pediatrics. 2012;129:e232-e246.

Trauma memories/triggers

• Are not stored in an ordered manner
• Stored in fragments
• Not time-tagged
• Associated with sensations and situations
• Stored in scenes
• Can intrude any time, no control when they occur
• Can be triggered by any sensory input or no clear reason

Do not ask “what is wrong with you/that person?” ask, “What might have happened?”

Help a survivor to be able to say…

• I’m not crazy!
• It’s not just in my head
• It happened
• It’s not my fault
• I can do something about this
• I’m not alone

Compassion Fatigue and Secondary Traumatic Stress – “the cost of caring”

Compassion fatigue (CF) and secondary traumatic stress (STS) disorder are a set of observable reactions to working with (CF) or loving and supporting (STS) people who have been traumatized and mirrors the symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) (Osofsky, Putnam & Lederman, 2008; Figley, 1995).
Secondary traumatic stress (STS) disorder refers to experiencing a trauma response even though you didn’t experience the trauma directly yourself. STS can occur after only one exposure to the details of another’s trauma or after repeated exposures.
Family and friends of trauma survivors are especially vulnerable to STS.
Those who experience STS will have at least some of the symptoms that are commonly associated with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). A small proportion of these individuals will experience full-blown PTSD as a result of secondary trauma exposure. (https://www.choosingtherapy.com/secondary-trauma/). Symptoms of both CF and STS often include a combination of cognitive, behavioral, emotional, and physical features. They may also involve a spiritual component such as questioning meaning or loss of faith.

• Vicarious trauma: Refers to permanent changes in the way you view and make sense of the world as a result of the cumulative effects of working with trauma survivors over time. These changes can occur in five areas:
  • Sense of safety
  • Ability to trust others
  • Self-esteem
  • Intimacy
  • Sense of control
• Compassion fatigue: Described as a consequence of STS. It is characterized by emotional and physical exhaustion and a loss of empathy or compassion for others.  Helping professionals and those in healing ministries (clergy, faith leaders) are vulnerable to CF and to burnout.
• Burnout: Described as a response to prolonged interpersonal work-related distress (i.e., not specifically exposure to secondary trauma). It’s characterized by three components:
  • Exhaustion: being emotionally and physically depleted or worn out
  • Cynicism: becoming irritable, and developing negative or inappropriate attitudes toward your clients/patients/those you care for professionally or in your ministry
  • Inefficiency: as a result of feeling overwhelmed and unable to cope, your work performance suffers

“Come to me, all you that are weary and are carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me; for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” (Mt 11:28-30)

“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and the God of all consolation, who consoles us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to console those who are in any affliction with the consolation with which we ourselves are consoled by God.” (2 Cor 1:3-4)

A remedy for compassion fatigue, secondary traumatic stress, or burnout is to foster resiliency. The following strategies are from Choosing Therapy (https://www.choosingtherapy.com/secondary-trauma/)
Personal Strategies for Resilience

• Self-care: Making time to engage in activities and practices that support your emotional, physical, and social health and well-being (e.g., ensuring adequate nutrition, sleep, exercise, maintaining a healthy work-life balance, and accessing personal counseling if needed)
• Social support: Having personal relationships with genuinely caring and supportive people

Professional Strategies for Resilience

• Detachment: Cultivating the ability to detach or disengage from work and specifically from client/patient suffering
• Setting boundaries: Creating limits around your interactions with clients/patients, coworkers, and/or the organization you work for (e.g., be conscious of the number of commitments you take on and the makeup of your caseload if possible)
• Peer consultation: Regularly engaging with peers to discuss challenging cases to receive support and other perspectives
• Sense of satisfaction: Being intentionally mindful of the moments of satisfaction and fulfillment you experience in your work

Organizational Strategies for Resilience

• Provide education and opportunities for safe and respectful discussion around STS
• Provide paid time for staff to consult regularly with peers about challenging cases
• Ensure staff members have adequate time and resources to do their work
• Create a supportive working environment where staff feel appreciated for their work

 

Survivor Focused Ministry

• Words from Victim Assistance Coordinators
• How to receive a survivor story using the VEEL method
• The Trauma-Informed Church
• A Model for Catholic Churches to Address Trauma and Abuse

Words from Victim Assistant Coordinators and Advocates

“The priest openly apologized for abuse every week from the pulpit…He apologized to everyone for what happened and how it impacted everyone from victims to families to communities.” “This priest reminds us that the entire Church has been harmed.”  Referring to a priest in Boston who spoke out in 2002 just after the stories of massive abuse and coverup were revealed by the press.
“The response to victims reaching out to us should be compassionate, timely, and resourced.”
“Anyone can have a Mass or prayer service, but few involve victim-survivors.”
“The disclosure is a gift and privilege. It is a start to a relationship with healing, with the Church, and back to the family.”
“We don’t have to understand it all in order to be present.”
“Survivors just want to be heard.”
“Survivors need a safe landing when they choose to come back to the Church.”
“Can we help victim-survivors carry their cross?”
“We are not ashamed to talk about this.”

To the clergy:
“You don’t have to fix it. Just listen.”
“We know your lives could change with one phone call.” (a call from a survivor who chooses to disclose or from someone who has made an allegation against you)
“The clergy are operating in fear.”
“We are here for the victim-survivor. The missing piece is the clergy.”

These were shared during a recorded video interview conducted by Catholic University The Catholic Project “Radical Accompaniment: Victim Assistance Coordinators  A Conversation on April 15, 2:00 p.m. EDT”
Please see other page for the panelists



Catholic University The Catholic Project “Radical Accompaniment: Victim Assistance Coordinators:  A Conversation on April 15, 2:00 p.m. EDT”
Panelists:
Heather Banis is the Victim Assistance Coordinator for the Archdiocese of Los Angeles. She has a Ph.D. in clinical psychology as well as an M.A. in theology and leadership. She has worked in the area of victim assistance for 15 years.
 Courtney Chase is the Victim Assistance Coordinator for the Archdiocese of Washington. She is a licensed clinical social worker with a Masters in Social Work from Catholic University and has been the victim assistance coordinator for DC for 6 years.
 Thomas Tharayil is the Victim Assistance Coordinator for the Archdiocese of Chicago. He is a licensed clinical social worker and has been the victim assistance coordinator in Chicago for over 9 years.

https://catholicproject.catholic.edu/meet-the-team/

 

How to receive a survivor story:
the VEEEL method

The initial response to the survivor who comes forward is one of the most critical parts in the survivor’s healing journey.  The most important way you may be called to respond to a survivor is to hear their story, their “Sacred Story” as I refer to these narrative gifts.
The following method I have found helpful in receiving a trauma story. I utilize four basic steps with a mnemonic tool to help. The mnemonic I use is “VEEEL” – Validate, Empathize, Empower, Explain, and Leave the door open. While there is no specific rule or best practice about following these steps in any particular order, I have found the first two steps to be most important. Always ending with Leave the door open helps as well.

VALIDATE – “I have heard you”

The first step in receiving a survivor’s story is the validation of the survivor and the story. It takes tremendous courage to gather strength and inner resources to finally disclose a story of abuse to anyone. We survivors sometimes carry enormous amounts of shame, self-blame, doubt, and fear.  We may have trouble trusting others. Survivors must be able to share their stories in SAFETY. The response should be a message of having heard the survivor and realizing how precious this story is. Be honest with us if this is difficult for you to hear.  Sharing your own frustrations, emotions are ok if you don’t let your own emotions take over. Some validating statements are:

• “Thank you for sharing your story with me.”
• “You are not alone.”
• “I am sorry this happened to you.”
• “It was not your fault.”
• “You are not to blame for this.”

EMPATHIZE – “I want to understand”

Abuse isolates a survivor in many ways. Survivors may feel isolated from families, community, and friends. Abuse also disconnects us – disconnected from ourselves because we can’t face the truth about our abuse, disconnected from others because of fear and shame, and disconnected from our emotions because we would rather not feel. Words that can help a survivor not feel alone anymore are important.

• “Help me understand what you are feeling.”
• “That sounds hard/difficult.”
• “I have to be honest, this makes me sad/angry/frustrated.”
• “Let me take a few breaths to absorb this.”
• “Your emotions are ok here.”

Each survivor's story is unique just as each person is unique, but there are some commonalities in how we are each affected by trauma. I’ve had some of the most comforting conversations with other survivors even if our lives and stories are very different. One truth I do share with each survivor is

• “You are not alone.” 

And one of the most hopeful truths we can share is that taking the first step and sharing our story with another is the beginning of healing.

• “You won’t always feel this way.”

Early in our healing, we may not believe this, but we Catholics are people of hope, and hope is one truth I want all survivors to hear.

EMPOWER – “I admire your courage”

Abuse makes the victim powerless. If a survivor has chosen to disclose a story of abuse, your words of empowerment can give the survivor a sense of restored power. Reminding us that what we have endured is significant and disclosing is courageous. Empowering words can give us the strength to continue the healing journey.
Examples of words of empowerment are:
“You have tremendous courage.” 
“It took a lot of courage to share your story.”
Just as important as words of empowerment, giving us a concept of control and agency in our healing journey is also empowering.
“How can I help?”
“What part of your healing do you want to work on?”

EXPLAIN – “This is what I know/don’t know”

Survivors have been betrayed and lied to not only by their abusers but sometimes by the very systems these abusers come from, especially clergy abuse survivors. Trust is damaged when someone is abused. Although trust can’t be achieved quickly, there are ways to help a survivor trust again. SAFETY and transparency are critical.
Say what you will do and do what you say. Be as completely honest with what you will do with a survivor story. Will you have to report to someone else? Who? And then what will happen? How long will I have to wait for a response? Who do I contact if I have questions?
This is also a time to educate yourself and the survivor. If you know something about trauma, share what you know, if not, then find someone who does. If you don’t know the next step, be honest about it. Do not promise anything you can’t give.
Phrases that can help explain the next steps to survivors:

• “Here is what I will do next/here are the next steps.”
• “This is what I know/what I can do/what I cannot do.”
• “You know what I know.” (no secrets)
• “I don’t know the answer to that, but I will ask (be specific) and let you know.”

LEAVE THE DOOR OPEN – “I will be here for you.”

Healing is a process, not an event. Healing is unique to each survivor. After having found the courage to disclose a story of abuse/trauma, a survivor may need time and space to heal from this very act. Sometimes a survivor may feel overwhelmed with emotions and refuse or reject offers of help. Again, give the survivor the power and freedom to step back for a while but impart them with the reassurance that you have not abandoned them. Words such as:

• “As your situation changes, I would be happy to provide additional time/support/help.”
• “You are welcome here.”
• “I will keep you in my prayers.”
• “I’m here, not going anywhere.”

Your steadfast love, O Lord, extends to the heavens,
    your faithfulness to the clouds. (Ps 36:5)
But you, O Lord, are a God merciful and gracious,
    slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness. (Ps 86:15)
For the Lord is good;
    his steadfast love endures forever,
    and his faithfulness to all generations. (Ps 100:5)
He heals the brokenhearted,
    and binds up their wounds. (Ps 147:3)
The spirit of the Lord God is upon me,
    because the Lord has anointed me;
he has sent me to bring good news to the oppressed,
    to bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim liberty to the captives,
    and release to the prisoners; (Is 61:1)
 

A Model for Catholic Churches to Address Trauma and Abuse

THE TRAUMA INFORMED CHURCH

There are six guiding principles in setting up a trauma-informed community or organization:

• Safety—This may be the most critical role a church community can establish—make the church a safe place for survivors to start to heal.  It is about more than physical safety. It assures psychological and relational safety. Is there a structure in place that allows survivors to feel included and protected in the faith community? Are staff and clergy trained in trauma-informed ministry? Are staff and resources that address trauma and behavioral health available or easily accessible? What are the mechanisms by which a survivor can disclose? Is there a hotline? Is the hotline staffed by someone who will respond quickly and provide the appropriate resources that a survivor needs? Does the staff know what a survivor may need in all phases of healing? Do they know how to get this training, these resources?

• Trustworthiness and transparency—Aside from fostering honesty and integrity, we should be unafraid of admitting that we are all broken and wounded and that we all experience trauma in some way. By speaking more openly about abuse and trauma, the stigma and isolation that survivors feel can be lifted. How is this demonstrated to the parish? Are there homilies, Masses, or prayer services dedicated to addressing the issues of abuse and trauma? Are there listening sessions to discuss abuse and trauma? Who do staff, clergy, and the faithful trust? The most important part of providing Trauma-Informed Ministry in our churches is to trust Jesus. Which personnel in church leadership are trustworthy?
• Peer support—Are there structures for survivors to walk alongside others who are also in recovery and healing? Groups such as Maria Goretti Network, Hopeful Hearts Ministry, and Celebrate Recovery are excellent peer support ministries. These groups create a safe environment for a survivor to tell their story, not feel judged, and feel accepted and supported by other survivors who understand what it is like to be a survivor. It is through sharing our stories that we can promote healing for ourselves and others.
• Collaboration and mutuality—Everyone can play a role in the healing of survivors under the trauma-informed model. Have we allowed survivors to share their gifts with the Church? Survivors have a unique perspective on faith. Have we asked if they would be willing to share their gifts or their testimonies with others?   
• Empowerment, voice, and choice—The strengths and experiences of each individual are identified and built upon in the church. Do survivors feel they are fully integrated into the church community? Do survivors have a voice that is equal to other voices in the Church?
• Cultural, historical, gender issues—Are we aware of how abuse is treated in different cultures? How has our parish changed historically in how it talks about abuse and trauma? Does our parish have a history of abuse and trauma? Have we adequately addressed previous or current stories of trauma? [17]

Trauma isolates survivors, and it divides families and communities. Dr. Judith Herman, psychiatrist, author, and researcher of child abuse and recovery from trauma notes: “All the perpetrator asks is that the community do nothing. He (sic) appeals to the universal desire to see, hear, and speak no evil. The victim, on the contrary, asks the community to share the burden of the pain. The victim demands action, engagement, and remembering.” [18] The Church can be the place of connection and belonging that the survivor lost at the hands of the abuser. The Church can be the place where we finally can engage with one another, with survivors, to acknowledge not just the abuse but to acknowledge that we are together, in Christ, sharing the burden, and bringing healing to the brokenhearted.
(From Abuse of Trust by Hebert et al, chapters by Dr. Deborah Rodriguez)

Six “Ss” to Support Survivors

• Scripture (and prayer)
  • Psalms, Book of Lamentations
  • Bible studies that address trauma and abuse
• Sacraments
  • Help survivors return to the Sacraments
  • Consider mentoring with other survivors or trauma-informed clergy
  • Masses for Hope and Healing, prayer services, prayers of the faithful that mention healing, trauma/abuse survivors, mental illness
  • Trauma sensitive RCIA programs
• Science
  • Learn about trauma science, trauma-informed ministry, resilience programs
  • Learn about healing methods (belly/box breathing, grounding, somatic experience, meditation, mindful focus)
  • Host talks on the science of trauma and trauma-informed ministry
• Support groups and church support
  • Peer counseling, peer groups (Maria Goretti Network, Mending the Soul, Awake Milwaukee)
  • Family and friends support (MGN, Awake Milwaukee)
  • Involve survivors in church ministry
• Saints
  • Look to saints who are models for healing, for living with trauma, for living with mental illness
  • Patron saints
  • Guardian Angels
• (p)psychology
  • Have a list of vetted counselors, therapists, mental health coaches, support groups
  • Trauma-informed Spiritual direction
  • Host speakers on the connection of trauma and mental health, and mental health conditions
  • Prayers of the faithful for mental health

These 6 S’s replace the original S’s that survivors often have: silence, shame, somatization
 

Resources for Survivors

• Books, support groups, retreats
• Mental Health Resources

RESOURCES FOR SURVIVORS OF ABUSE

Books

• The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, And Body in the Healing of Trauma by Bessel van Der Kolk MD
• Suffering and the Heart of God: How Trauma Destroys and Christ Restores by Diane Langberg
• Mending the Soul: Understanding and Healing Abuse by Steve R. Tracy
• The Broken Way: a Daring Path into the Abundant Life by Ann Voskamp
• Acts of Recovery by Michael Hoffman
• Veronica’s Veil by T. Pitt Green
• Hurting in the Church: A Way Forward for Wounded Catholics  by Fr. Thomas Berg
• Exposed by Shannon Deitz
• My Peace I Give You: Healing Sexual Wounds with the Help of the Saints by Dawn Eden
• Shattered Soul: Five Pathways to Healing the Spirit after Abuse and Trauma by Patrick Fleming, Sue-Lauber Fleming, and Vicki Schmidt
• Unbound: A Practical Guide to Deliverance by Neal Lozano
• Be Healed: A Guide to Encountering the Powerful Love of Jesus in Your Life by Bob Schuchts
• Abuse of Trust by Allen Hebert et al.

 

Online resources

• Maria Goretti Network-faith based support network for survivors of abuse
  http://www.mgoretti.org
• Hopeful Hearts Ministry-Giving a voice to survivors of abuse
   http://www.hopefulheartsministry.com/
   

Bible studies and other Christian resources

• Mending the Soul
  https://mendingthesoul.org/
  A Christian ministry to all survivors of abuse with bible studies, support groups.
• Grief to Grace
  http://www.grieftograce.org/
  Retreat experience for survivors created by the founder of Rachel’s Vineyard, Dr Theresa Burke
• “The Way” Retreats for Men and Women  

https://archatl.com/ministries-services/victim-assistance/healing-opportunities/
3-day healing retreats for men or women who have suffered abuse

• John Paul II Healing Center
  http://jpiihealingcenter.org/
  Retreats, conferences and resources for bringing to the light of God our previous wounds.

The Survivor of Trauma and Mental Health

Trauma and abuse can affect us emotionally, physically, and spiritually. These effects can occur at various times after the traumatic event. Initial reactions to trauma can include confusion, anger, sadness, anxiety, fear, agitation, or dissociation [disconnected from your thoughts, feelings, memories, and surroundings]. Some survivors of early childhood trauma can experience more chronic and impacting emotional and psychological conditions such as anxiety, depression, addictions, and mood disorders.
A trauma-informed approach to survivors of abuse includes addressing the emotional and psychological concerns that many survivors may experience. In some cases, survivors of abuse may have been minimizing or suppressing the effects of trauma for years either because of their own self-protection or because the abuser(s) coerced, intimidated, or deceived the victim to deny or minimize the abuse.
Survivors may be thinking, “I should be over this by now,” or “it wasn’t that bad.” Family and friends may unconsciously add even more shame and say, “Why can’t you just let it go?” Often the effects of trauma simply do not just “go away” on their own. A survivor often needs compassionate and trained persons to help with the healing journey.
Finding a mental health provider trained in trauma care can be life-giving. Just as important as a good therapist is a faith community that understands trauma and can provide the healing environment for a survivor to find community and faith.
(adapted from PAVE, promoting awareness victim empowerment, https://www.shatteringthesilence.org/about)

Online/web-based resources
https://www.catholictherapists.com/home
https://theraphaelremedy.com/
https://www.catholiccounselors.com/
https://www.catholicpsychotherapy.org/



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Dr. Deborah Rodriguez’ Suggestions for Self Care – To Be Done Daily If Possible

“FOSTERS”
Fitness

• ANY movement, stretching, exercise, sport for at least 15 minutes         
• This should be of your own choosing
• Move as many body parts as possible, from fingertips to toes

Outdoors

• Spend at least 15 minutes outdoors just breathing and observing
• “Scan” each direction – notice what is above you, beneath you, to the north, the south, etc
• Observe sights, sounds, temperature

Sleep

• Try to get at least 7-10 hours sleep each night, same time every day
• Try a routine before bed: deep breathing, light stretching, meditation/prayer/journaling

Talk

• Check-in with a support person each day, if possible in person or in real-time conversation
• No agenda, just checking in with each other and offer support

Eat

• Eat at least one good meal per day
• Get plenty of water, raw fruit, and vegetables daily

Relax

• Do one relaxing thing for yourself (art, music, reading, crafts, dance, writing, hiking)

Spirituality

• Take care of your inner self
• Meditation, prayer, journaling, spiritual practice, connection with others
• Bonus: gratitude (remember and journal something you are grateful for)

Journal exercise: each night recall and write down

• 1 GOOD thing that happened during the day
• 1 CHALLENGING thing that happened (and how you dealt with it or learned from it)
• 1 HOPE you have for the next day (a goal, a dream for your future)

Prayers in times of need

Prayer in Times of Despair by Saint Ignatius of Loyola

O Christ Jesus,
when all is darkness
and we feel our weakness and helplessness,
give us the sense of Your presence,
Your love, and Your strength.
Help us to have perfect trust
in Your protecting love
and strengthening power,
so that nothing may frighten or worry us,
for, living close to You,
we shall see Your hand,
Your purpose, Your will through all things.

Anima Christi

Soul of Christ, sanctify me.
Body of Christ, save me.
Blood of Christ, inebriate me.
Water from the side of Christ, wash me.
Passion of Christ, strengthen me.
O Good Jesus, hear me.
Within your wounds hide me.
Permit me not to be separated from you.
From the wicked foe, defend me.
At the hour of my death, call me
and bid me come to you
That with your saints I may praise you
Forever and ever. Amen.

Lead Kindly Light by Bl. John Henry Newman

Lead, Kindly Light, amid the encircling gloom,
Lead Thou me on;
The night is dark, and I am far from home,
Lead Thou me on.
Keep Thou my feet;
I do not ask to see the distant scene;
one step enough for me.
I was not ever thus, nor prayed that
Thou shouldst lead me on;
I loved to choose and see my path, but now
Lead Thou me on.
I loved the garish day, and, spite of fears, pride ruled my will;
remember not past years.
So long Thy power hath blessed me, sure it still
Will lead me on.
O'er moor and fen, o'er crag and torrent, till
The night is gone;
And with the morn those angel faces smile,
Which I have loved long since, and lost a while.

Prayer of St. Benedict Joseph Labre

Eternal Father,
Through the Precious Blood of Jesus,
Have mercy.
Console us in our moment of need and tribulation,
As You once consoled Job, Hanna, and Tobias,
In their afflictions.
And Mary, Comforter of the Afflicted,
Pray and placate God for us,
And obtain for us the grace for which we humbly pray.

Scripture verses for Survivors

God’s redemption of Abuse

Gen 50:20 “As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good in order to bring about this present result, to preserve many people alive.”
Is 53:5 “But He was pierced through for our transgressions, He was crushed for our iniquities; the chastening for our well-being fell upon Him, and by His scourging, we are healed.”
1 Cor 1:18 “For the word of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God.”
2 Cor 4:8-10 “We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not despairing; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying about in the body the dying of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our body.”

Healing

Ex 15:26 “I am the Lord who heals you.”
Luke 4:40 “He laid His hands on every one of them and healed them”
Heb 12:13 “what is lame may not be dislocated, but rather be healed.”

Trauma

Ps 27:10 “When my father and mother forsake me, then the Lord”
Ps 34:18 “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted”
Ps 46:1 “A very present help in trouble”
Ps 55 “Give ear to my prayer, O God, and hide not yourself from my supplication”
Ps 102 “Hear my prayer, O Lord; let my cry come to you!”
Is 61: 3 “To console those who mourn in Zion”
Rev 12:11 “They have conquered him by the blood of the Lamb and by the work of their testimony”

Saints for Survivors

• Patron saints
• Guardian Angels
• St. Maria Goretti
• St. Dymphna
• Jeremiah
• St. Benedict Joseph Labre
• St. Rafael Arnaiz

In the End….

Most people don’t want our advice, they want to be heard, to be loved, and to know that God is real